I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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