My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
