We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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