Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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