But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
