You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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