you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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