i jhust puked up my retainher.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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