So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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