In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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