I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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