doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
