put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
