haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
