her vagine was all disorganized.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize