Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
