So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
