Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
