i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dignity is for republicans.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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