Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
