just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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