I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
