Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize