Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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