you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
