hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
