Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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