I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
