Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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