don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
