She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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