Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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