That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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