I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar