May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between