she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
