I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
