Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
