His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
