No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
