And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
