well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
