umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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