I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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