chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
