He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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