oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
