Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
