My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
