its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize