She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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