So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize