Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I met the friendliest cop last night
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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