a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
