He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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