Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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