if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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