Cold hands, warm shart.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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