please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
