Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
